04 April 2010

problems come whoring around

problems owh problems
i know you come here for some specific reason
for some goodness that may not be noticed now, right now
maybe tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
i'll realize it
because i trust in HIM
everything happened comes from HIM
and HE knows the most
'what is good and what is bad'
'what is true and what is fake'
only HE knows
i'm here just wait and waiting
for the reason to appear
to show me the way to the right happiness

saya yakin ujian ni ada hikmahnya. saya yakin Dia sedang menguji kekuatan hati saya. saya yakin kalau saya bersabar insya-Allah Dia akan bantu saya. saya yakin Dia sedang melihat dan menanti rintihan saya padaNya. saya yakin Dia ada di sisi saya.

menangis? itu memang saya tak dapat nak nafikan. saya seorang perempuan normal yang kan pasti menitiskan air mata bila bermacam ujian menimpa. saya akui kelemahan saya, mudah sangat bersedih bila masalah yang menimpa melibatkan family tersayang. saya amat mengasihi family saya. saya tak suka orang tengok saya nangis. tapi kalau saya rasa nak menangis saya akan menangis on the spot. sebabnya? saya tak pandai control air mata. asal sedih je nangis. hhmm, hee itulah antara kelemahan saya.

so fahamlah awak sekarang kan yang saya sedang ada masalah. i can't just let myself calm in this situation. i need to do something. i love all my family. i love them like damn much till that i feel like it's okey to be the one sacrified if that is the only way to settle all these trouble. ouhh, i need someone to let me cry on their shoulder. i really can't endure this anymore. i really can't.

please be healthy. i still need you by my side. i still need your smiling face to renew my spirit. and also, i want to see you grow up happily. please.

i love you dear

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